Am I in the Labyrinth?
Free · Eight Questions · Takes About 5 Minutes
Answer each question honestly. Each answer is worth 1, 2, or 3 points — keep a running tally as you go. At the end, add up your total and find your result below.
This is a self-reflection tool, not a clinical assessment or a substitute for a licensed therapist. If you are ever in immediate danger, please reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline — 1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788.
The Eight Questions
Question One: The Mirror
When you first got together, did it feel like fate — like they mirrored your exact dreams, values, or way of talking back at you, almost too perfectly, too fast?
Not really — 1
A little, now that I think about it — 2
Yes, it felt like magic at the time — 3
Question Two: The Bypass
Have you overridden a gut feeling or body signal with a positive mindset, a gratitude practice for what is working, or justifying doubts because life isn’t happening to you but for you?
No, not really — 1
Sometimes — 2
Often — I’m good at reframing red flags as gifts and lessons — 3
Question Three: The Pace
Did the relationship move fast enough that you didn’t have real time to check things out — big declarations or big decisions within weeks?
No, it was slow and steady — 1
Somewhat faster than usual — 2
Yes, incredibly fast — when something feels aligned, I don’t hesitate — 3
Question Four: The Rename
Have you — or people around you — renamed something that bothered you as “just his personality,” “just a cultural thing,” or “that’s just how men are”?
No — 1
Once or twice — 2
Yes, regularly — I try to see the best in people — 3
Question Five: The Advantage
Did you convince yourself the relationship was worth it for a bigger-picture reason — security, family, adventure, image, opportunity — even when something felt off?
No — 1
A little — 2
Yes, I go to the big picture easily — 3
Question Six: The Excuse
Do you find yourself explaining away outbursts, control, gaslighting, or anger as just “who they are,” and excusing it because of their “difficult childhood” rather than something you’d accept from anyone else?
No — 1
Occasionally — 2
Yes, regularly — I have a lot of compassion for where people come from — 3
Question Seven: The Comparison
Do you catch yourself comparing your relationship to worse situations (“at least he doesn’t…”) instead of measuring it against what you actually deserve?
No — 1
Sometimes — 2
Often, perspective is a powerful tool of mine — 3
Question Eight: The Mixed Reality
Does it ever feel like real love and real harm are both true at the same time — like you can’t fully call it bad because there’s also something good there?
No — 1
Sometimes — 2
Yes, constantly — I can hold nuance and complexity most people can’t — 3
Add up your total (8–24) and scroll down to find your result.